Mix of emotions

As a family, four out of five of us are in a really good place right now. We absolutely adore the town we are in, our friendships with other people and families in the community are growing, I'm really enjoying my part time job, and Sofia is all set for next year (she won a lottery spot for a place in the Schlitz Audubon Nature Center preschool 2 days a week, I have wanted Sofia to attend this preschool since I first heard about it years ago). Last fall Tim took a new job due to stress with his old one, mainly from working every Saturday. This new job was supposed to relieve some of that by giving Tim every third Saturday off but after 8 months of the new job we both feel like we are even more drained than before. The Saturday thing hasn't worked out as well as we hoped and Tim has to work until 7 on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evening. Tim is also seeing a ton more patients than he used to and rarely gets to eat lunch. This optometry practice is also further away (30 minutes each way, one hour a day wasted in the car) which means he isn't home until 7:30 but realistically more like 7:40 most nights. Our kids used to go to bed at 7:30 but I let them stay up because they ask about him all day long and I like going through the bedtime routine as a family. But starting the bedtime routine so late (as well as the house cleaning that happens after bedtime) has led to Tim and I not able to sit down and breathe until 9 or 9:30 at night. During the week I honestly feel like a single parent. I attend all activities by myself with the kids, which can be challenging with three under three. And, I'm training for a half ironman and most of the group workouts happen around 5:30 or 6pm. I know this sounds insignificant, but working out is my stress relief and my social hour. If I have free time I'd much rather go on a run or bike ride with one of my friends than go out for a drink. I think it's really important to keep myself physically healthy. We don't have any family close enough to help out so lately I just feel really alone during the week. I'd like to spend quality time with my husband during the week but with him working so late we are both just exhausted by the time we're done with bedtime and clean up. And I get up at 5 most mornings to swim/work out and I work at 7 so I really need to go to bed at a reasonable hour whereas Tim doesn't work until 10am. All in all, I predict some kind of change on the horizon. This makes Tim and I both sad because we both realize that 4/5 of us are doing well, but we as a family really want and need Tim around more. Time will tell what God's plan is for our family.

Sorry for the boring complaint post, I just needed to vent.