My kind of town

We have officially moved to Port Washington, Wisconsin! I can't begin to explain how nice it is to be living in the same house as my husband and be together as a family. Unpacking has been a challenge with newborn twins and a 17 month old running around. Thankfully, we have had a lot of help from our families. I've also started my new role as a stay at home Mom (my thoughts on this require a separate post). We love our new town, we appreciate it so much after living in Memphis. Don't get me wrong, we learned to love Memphis but it definitely wasn't love at first sight and much of the reason we loved it was because of the relationships we had with people.

Below are just a few small things about Port that make a big difference...
-The streets are clean, the trash and littering in Memphis and the South in general drove me insane
-Wonderful schools, I checked all of their data before we even looked at homes in the area and the public schools here rank among the best in the state
-Businesses and people in general are friendly and considerate. In Memphis it was so hard to get a smile from a cashier let alone a please, thank you or have a nice day.
-Safety! I rarely hear police/ambulance sirens and the silence is music to my ears.
-People put carts away at stores. I can't tell you how many dents we have in our car due to the grocery store/Target parking lots in Memphis because people don't put carts away or just slam their door into your car.

I realize that Wisconsin isn't perfect and neither is Port Washington but it is so refreshing to be in such a clean and beautiful place! It feels so good to be back in this wonderful state.

Maritime Festival 

The harbor

Ruder family minus Sully who was being carried by Granddad

Watching Dad go for a morning swim.

The beach that's less than a mile from our house!

Somebody likes grilled cheese and tomato soup just as much as her Dad!

Auntie Pat with Everett

My Mom balancing Sofia and Everett

Our new routine is still being fine tuned but so far weekdays start with Tim taking Sofia for a run to Lake Park while I feed the boys. Tim makes her breakfast and gets her dressed for the day and then he gets ready for work. I usually walk all three kids to the park before Sofia's 11am nap. After her nap we eat lunch and take another long walk (which is quite a sight since I have to push two strollers). Then we usually have snack time and do arts and crafts or read books. One of my favorite times of the day is music time when I pick some random music and Sofia and I dance like there's no tomorrow. Of course our day is peppered with nursing/pumping and feeding the boys but I feed them on demand so we don't really schedule it out. For the past few weeks my Mom has been coming a few days a week to help out. It's been so helpful to have another adult on those days. This week it was even better because my Aunt Pat has been in town from Florida and has been coming with my Mom to help. The days when I'm by myself are good so far but are definitely long and I'm still adjusting to the whole SAHM role.

I am the luckiest!

Tim and I started dating in 2003, our sophomore year of college. We both were big fans of Ben Folds/Ben Folds Five and one song we always loved was "The Luckiest". Fast forward eight years and I don't have as much time to explore new music artists but I have to say that I still feel like the luckiest, probably more today than eight years ago. The past few months and years have been very busy and stressful times. I couldn't have asked for a better partner throughout it all than my husband. In October we will celebrate five years of marriage.

One of the first things I knew about Tim when I was dating him was that he would always be up for any adventure or anything I wanted to try and that he would be an incredible father someday. Since 2003 we have traveled around Europe together, taken several backpacking trips around the U.S., trekked out to California for a summer to work together in Sequoia National Park, moved to Memphis and bought our first house, furthered our education, traveled, danced, camped and loved every experience that has come our way. It hasn't always been easy or pleasant, but I can look back at all of our adventures and experiences and know that we wouldn't be the strong couple we are today without the obstacles we have faced. The latest adventure we have faced together is becoming parents. It all started with our beautiful daughter Sofia. Tim and I would always say during our first year with Sofia that having a baby didn't slow us down all that much, we traveled across the country with her several times and even took her camping in the Smoky Mountains when she was only four months old. In December 2010 we found out we were expecting again and we were thrilled. I was a little nervous but also excited when we found out we were expecting twins, Tim was my rock and continually assured me that we would be fine. Tim supported me in every way possible during my pregnancy.

While we were in the hospital with the boys Tim was incredible. I told him for weeks up until the delivery that no matter what, I wanted him to stay with the boys. I could handle whatever happened to me. Everett was very healthy and was able to stay with me but Sullivan went straight to the NICU. Someday I will share with the boys just how incredible their father was during this time. We had to be separated during the 48 hours that Sully was in the NICU. I stayed in recovery with Everett and Tim checked on us frequently but was never away from Sully for more than an hour. I'm so glad this wasn't our first pregnancy because although I missed having Tim around for every little moment, I felt confident that I would be alright on my own with Everett and I agreed with Tim that Sullivan shouldn't be alone. The hospital was awesome to us, I think they broke a few rules by allowing Tim, Everett and I to all visit Sullivan together several times a day. We really felt that the boys should be together as much as possible.  Tim never runs from a dirty diaper or any task that comes with children.

Our latest obstacle has been living apart while we wait to close on our house. No matter how tired Tim is he makes sure to drive 3 hours each way to see his family at least every other day in the midst of his first job and trying to buy a home. I haven't been able to help Tim out as much as I normally do since I'm usually tied up with the kids. I moved to Waukesha this week to save him some driving but Tim was making the long and exhausting trek for the past three weeks. I don't mean to brag about my husband, I just hope that someday my children will read these blog entries and will get an idea of how much their father does for our family.

And now I really feel like I'm back in middle school because I'm posting the lyrics to the song. They are very fitting lyrics for us though...

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

An update on our family....finally!

Wow, the last 3 weeks have flown by. I'm down a helper now so it's harder to find time to blog. Any free time is usually spent cleaning, pumping or sleeping. Everyone is doing well, just exhausted. Tim is off today and kicked me out of the house for an hour, he has never been alone with all three so I'm a little nervous for him but I think it will also be good for him to see how hard it is.

The boys are growing well, I'm still nursing them but I'm having a hard time keeping up with them, they are increasing the amount they are eating. Last week was their 2 week check up and Sofia's 18 month old well child exam (although she only just turned 17 months old). Sofia didn't gain any weight in the last two months, she lost weight and grew two inches! Sofia weighs 26lbs 6oz and is 33.5 inches tall. She is in the 95th percentile for height and 85th for weight. Everett easily surpassed his birth weight of 5lbs 7oz, at two weeks he weighed in at 6lbs 3oz. Sully went from 5lbs 11oz at birth to 5lbs 14oz. I'm still happy with his growth, especially considering he spent 48 hours in the NICU and I wasn't allowed to feed him.

We are still living with family which is nice because we have help but it's quickly getting old. I moved the kids and I to Waukesha so Tim could see his family more often but it's very crowded in my parents' house. I just can't wait to have my family under our own roof with our own things. It's also a little scary to think about being on my own, I've only had all three kids by myself about four times. Lately it's been my Mom and I and two adults for three kids is still tough! Yesterday I barely had time to go to the bathroom. I've been praying a lot about how I'm going to manage all three on my own, I'm hopeful that I will figure things out.

The house deal is progressing, we were hoping for an earlier closing date but it looks like the original date of August 12th will be it. We had the inspection and appraisal of the house completed and everything turned out great except for the yard. The grade of the yard wasn't exactly what the appraiser wanted to see so yesterday we had to shell out money to have a ton of dirt brought in. We wanted to do the work ourselves but it had to be done by today and with three kids and Tim working we just couldn't find a way to make it work so we had to hire someone to regrade the yard. Hopefully it will pass the inspection today.

Finally, here are a few photos of some of the things we've been up to recently.

Granddad Jim in his stage debut, "Peter & the Wolf"

Another lovely visit from the Great-Grandparents

Snuggles with the boys

Sofia stuck in her brother's car seat

The Sunday night concert at Devil's lake turned into Sofia running into the lake with all of her clothes on and then deciding to spend the rest of the evening dancing in the nude to the band.

Who needs clothes?

Sofia being a great big sister!

A dip in the pool and drink from the hose!

She loves drinking water from the hose.

My girl and I

The boys didn't go swimming but enjoyed their first trip to the lake at the tender age of 2 weeks!

Sofia riding the merry go round solo!

Sofia and the boys had their first visit to the Henry Vilas Zoo in Madison

Grandma Rainey & I took Sofia for a dip at the Baraboo pool, she LOVED it!

Early arrival!

Last week I decided to take Sofia down to Waukesha so we could visit Tim during his first week of work. I arrived in Waukesha around lunch time and then Sofia, my mom and I all hopped in the car to drive up to Port Washington. Tim and I put an offer in on a house there and I wanted to show it to her. We had a great time checking out the town and I am so excited about the prospect of raising my family in this adorable town. We went home and had a great dinner with my parents, Lindsey & Carlos, Tim, and Marie & Calvin (my parents' old German exchange student and her boyfriend visiting from Germany) and we started to settle in for the night. All night I was feeling exhausted and I should have gone to bed but I wanted to hang out with everyone. Tim and I finally went to bed around 11pm and I woke up around 1:30am for what I assumed was the first of my normal five trips to the bathroom each night. However, when I stood up I realized that this wasn't just a bathroom break, my water had broken. I woke Tim but he was simply confused about the entire situation. I asked him to find me some clean clothes and meet me in the bathroom. I tried to assess whether or not my water had actually broken and called my doctor in Madison. Ten minutes later Tim met me in the bathroom with my purse, I don't know if I've ever kept clean clothing in my purse but Tim said it was all he could find. The poor guy was exhausted. My doctor decided I better come in and get checked out, I told him we were in Waukesha and I could hear his voice change a little but he thought we still had time to arrive safely in Madison. I did have a hospital bag packed, but it was in Baraboo with the rest of our stuff. I also left my glasses in Baraboo and I couldn't put my contacts in because the solution I use requires the contacts to be in the solution for at least 6 hours before you wear them again. So picture if you will my exhausted, confused husband and a completely blind me, sitting on a pile of towels, having contractions and trying to drive to the hospital in Madison at 2:00 in the morning. We were quite a sight and I thank God we didn't run into any deer or police. We had never approached the hospital from Waukesha so we weren't exactly sure which way we were going and Tim kept asking me to call the local police so we could drive faster on the interstate. My parents followed us about 30 minutes behind and Tim's Dad started driving to meet us at the hospital from Baraboo.

We made it safely to the hospital and the doctor confirmed that my water had broken, I was in labor and the babies would be delivered within the hour! I am still surprised at how calm I was able to stay throughout the entire situation. I was 35 weeks and 3 days and I fully expected to make it to my planned cesarean which was scheduled for July 27th. The delivery was so strange compared to my delivery with Sofia. My spinal didn't have a complete block so I was able to move my legs throughout the surgery, not a pleasant feeling at all. Baby A (Everett James) was born first at 4:53am (19.25 inches and 5lbs 7oz) and Baby B (Sullivan Jeffrey) at 4:54am (18 inches 5lbs 11oz). Everett came out and cried fairly quickly and was fine, Sully had some breathing issues and unfortunately had to spend 48 hours in the NICU. He was off all breathing assistance within about 12 hours. The hospital was great because they let us visit him whenever we wanted and even broke some rules by letting us bring Everett up to visit his brother so we could all be together as a family. Sully is a strong little guy and was determined to be with his brother and for us to all go home together. Sofia was able to meet her brothers a few hours after they were born. She is so sweet to them, she blew a kiss when she first saw Everett and pointed out his nose and played with his hands. Tim and I feel so blessed to now have THREE healthy, beautiful children.

Photo taken by Anya Wait Photography

16 days....

In 16 days or less Tim and I will become parents to two more children! I have really enjoyed getting to know these sweet little boys over the past 9 months and I'm ready to meet them and hold them. Although I appreciate every extra day they get to develop, my body is aching and I honestly don't know how the skin on my stomach can stretch anymore than it already has. Thankfully, this has been an awesome pregnancy. I've felt pretty good overall and I've been able to stay active. Tim and I were just out kayaking a few nights ago. Everywhere I go people are amazed by my belly, I make jaws drop. People are so kind as well, most people say I'm all belly which I believe because the boys are taking every bit of nutrition they need. The boys passed another BPP test in their ultrasound today and next week I have my pre-op appointment. Unless I go into labor, the boys will be delivered July 27th via cesarean since Baby A is breech.

Today was the first day "official" eight hour day for Tim. He has been one busy guy. He and his Dad have been working on cribs for the past few weeks. Sofia is definitely not a girly girl. Anytime the guys are working on the cribs she wants to be right there with them, she likes watching but also wants to use the tools herself. The boys' cribs are being made by two pretty incredible guys and should be gorgeous, the wood is stunning. It's cherry wood and some pieces have an incredible pattern in their grain. I can't wait to see the finished product. I love handmade things and Tim's Dad made a comment last night that these could be the cribs that Sofia puts her babies in. All I could do was smile and think about how incredibly blessed Tim and I are. Here are some pictures of the guys from the weekend. For Father's Day I bought Tim a groupon for a flight lesson and one hour flight.  Tim was able to take one passenger with him and who better than his father? Tim has talked about wanting to fly since the day I met him, he actually considered being a pilot during his K-12 years. I was so happy to give him this gift, he has worked so hard for our family over the past four years and especially over the past two months. I'm lucky to have him as my husband and I can't imagine a better person to be the father of my children.

He was so excited!

Checking the fuel before taking off.

Tim and his father

As I'm sure you gathered from my last post these times are very stressful but thankfully I married an incredible guy and we've managed to really lean on each other and grow closer throughout everything. We are also so happy we moved home to Wisconsin, it feels great to be home and we couldn't get through these tough times without our family. Hopefully we will know where we are living within the next few weeks. We didn't think we would be able to buy a house this year because we need to come up with a down payment. We are trying to make it work though by selling a car and a few other things to come up with a down payment. The toughest thing has been finding someone willing to deal with the student loans from optometry school.  I won't bore anyone with the details but I'm amazed at how much harder it is to get a loan after Tim finished his doctorate and I finished my Master's. It would probably be easier if I were working but that just isn't an option right now. If things don't work out and we need to rent for another year Tim and I will just try to make the best of the situation.

I'll close tonight with some pictures from the last two weeks. You'd never know I was 35 weeks pregnant with twins, Tim and I don't ever seem to slow down :)

The awesome cloth diaper cake my friend Kelly made me for our shower.

Our little artist, she spend a lot of time coloring, drawing, and doing chalk art outside.

It's a rough life for a baby. This lucky girl goes to the lake at least 3 or 4 times a week. Whenever we arrive and take her out of her car seat she RUNS full speed to the water. 

Tim helping Sofia with a rock sorting project. Maybe she'll be as handy as her  Dad and Granddad.

Out swimming with Tim, Carlos, and Lindsey.

My giant belly taking a rest with Sofia.

Sofia crawling inside the kitchen island.

Prayers please

WARNING: This post may come off as me complaining but I just need to write to vent out some of my fear and worries for the coming weeks. If you are a person of faith, I would appreciate prayers for the well being of our new babies, Sofia's transition, my health and recovery, Tim's new job and hopefully we can find a nice, safe place to live.

My husband Tim officially accepted an optometry job with a practice north of Milwaukee. The offices are in Fox Point, Mequon, and Fredonia. We are very excited but now we're trying to figure out what to do about the twins and where to live, etc. We thought it was stressful selling our house and moving two weeks before Sofia was born. Tim had to take round 1 of National Boards two weeks after she was born and we were sharing one car. Looking back, that situation seems easy compared with what we are faced with now.

Tim put in a few hours on July 1st so he could have his official start date as July 1st since we have to wait 3 months for health insurance. So now we are going to have to pay the extremely high COBRA rate to have insurance until Tim is eligible. We are having a very difficult time finding a rental that we can afford along with our school loan payments. The area will Tim will be practicing is very nice but extremely expensive for renting or buying. Tim starts a full time schedule July 11th and the doctors are expecting the twins to be delivered sometime around July 29th. We will be having a scheduled cesarean because of Baby A's position.  I don't want to switch doctors and hospitals again so I plan to stay in Baraboo with Tim's parents and Sofia. Tim will be living with my parents in Waukesha and unfortunately he will have a very long drive to work and won't be with Sofia and I for a while. I'm definitely sad that I'll have to go to the rest of my appointments by myself and I know how much Sofia and I will miss Tim and vice versa. I'm really trying not to say much about it because I know how much this situation is killing Tim. It would've been really nice to just wait to work until a month after the twins are born but without me working that's impossible, optometry school was very expensive.

The practice said they can give Tim three or four days off when the twins are born, I'm really hoping he can make it to the delivery and at least spend a day or two with me in the hospital. Then will begin the toughest part of the journey. We haven't been able to find a house to rent that's available anytime soon so after the twins are born Tim will return to Waukesha to work and I'll go back to Baraboo with three kids. My parent's house is too small for 4 more people to move in. It breaks my heart that Tim will miss the first few weeks with our children. I loved having one whole week of just Tim, Sofia and I when she was born. Tim was always such a huge help during the night too so I'm a bit nervous about handling night time feedings by myself with two newborns. I know I can change them but I'm wondering how I will get myself situated to nurse them together. I'm also nervous about caring for the twins plus Sofia during the day while I try to recover from my surgery.

To my sweet Sofia...

Sweet girl,
I just wanted to write you a short letter to mark this special day. Your Dad is the newest doctor at a private practice that has three locations along the "North Shore". I am so proud of him and I know you are too. He worked so hard for the past four years and even during college to get to this point. Today was your Dad's first day of work. I have to tell you how hard it was for him to leave your sweet face today, we have had so much fun playing together as a family the past month.

I've been very lucky to have you all to myself for a few days while your Dad was interviewing or taking care of business related to his job and I must say that I feel like the luckiest Mom alive to spend the entire day with you. You like to wake up early but you realize how tired I am being so pregnant with your brothers and you are quite content to snuggle for a little while and sing or just sweetly talk to me. You are one affectionate little girl. Not only do you sing and talk sweetly, you snuggled your brothers in my belly this morning, gave me lots of kisses (the traditional kind) as well as eskimo and butterfly kisses. I don't know where you learned how to give butterfly kisses but you certainly melted my heart. I know you are ready to get moving when you jump on me and laugh hysterically.

You don't eat breakfast right away, you like to walk around the house and inspect things, you sure notice a lot because you talk a mile a minute about what you see. Around 7 or 7:30 I make breakfast for the two of us. Your favorite breakfast is scrambled eggs, you also like waffles and pancakes. Lately you have been very interested in finishing my cereal, your Dad's or even your Grandma's cereal when she has a later start time at work. On the days more people are around you love to walk around and wake everyone up with a big smile and hug.

After breakfast we usually read some stories in our pajamas or your Dad, Granddad or Grandma Rainey take you on a run or walk. You love being outside, whether it's swinging, playing with rocks, helping hang up diapers or just running around you are definitely very happy to be outside. I would expect nothing less since your Dad and I love the outdoors so much. Most days we take you to the library for Puppy Club or Baby Garden, two different reading programs you are in. You LOVE the library, you've had a strong love for books since you first used them for tummy time.

Today we turned on your Spanish music CD with children's songs. We sang almost every song twice and danced and danced and danced :) . You even acted out some of the actions for the different songs. You are so sweet, not only do you laugh, sing and dance but you always clap at the end of the song. I swear you said "Bravo" at the end of one song too. You are just a little knowledge sponge lately, you surprise me with all of the new words you say and things you know how to do.

Your Dad and I are a little nervous for all of the big changes coming our way because you are so well adjusted to our current situation, you love having family around all the time. It's also a big adjustment for your Dad from being a student to working full time. I think I get the best deal, after 5 years of teaching I'm taking a year off to be home with you and your brothers. I'm sure we'll have our days where things are a little tough, especially when your brothers both need something at the same time but I think we are headed towards a lot of amazing days as well. However, you are a strong little lady and I know you are going to be such a great big sister. And the great thing is that we will still be in the state of Wisconsin so you will be able to see your family so much more than we saw them when we lived in Tennessee.

Sofia, I could go on and on but I just wanted to make sure you know how much I love you and how much I have enjoyed getting to spend so much time with you.